"I like the way your arms come out of your body."
— my dad (speaking affectionately to my mother) (via ingridmichaelson)
About
I'm 18, a Michigan Wolverine, a writer, 20 feet tall, divorced, legendary, secondary, old, new, something blue.
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December 17, 2009 at 11:07pm Comments
December 17, 2009 at 10:43pm Comments
My stepmom is playing farmville
and my dad is playing facebook Poker.
Stepmom is excited because she rescued a baby calf,
and father is excited because if you win 3 rounds of poker, you can enter a drawing for a macbook.
December 17, 2009 at 10:23pm Comments
When I was younger
I always made my dad make me a poached egg and cocoa wheats, every weekend, without fail. He was the only one who could make them properly.
I’m spending the night at his house, now that finals are over,
and he just came in, in his “snap crackle pop” rice krispie-logoed pajama pants with a mug of hot chocolate.
“That’s the closest I have to cocoa wheats,” he said.
“Would you like an egg?”
I couldn’t love him more.
We’re gonna watch food network now, kay, bye.
December 17, 2009 at 9:46pm Comments
December 17, 2009 at 6:17pm Comments
December 17, 2009 at 6:15pm Comments
December 17, 2009 at 3:30pm Comments
melodywillbealright
has the world’s funniest tumblr.
Follow it.
Figured I’d reblog just so it can be a double reblog/liked post.
because i go too far for humor. look at this. this is already annoying me. why do i go so far for laughter? when i was peeing before i was thinking about how funny it would be to kill myself by drowning in the rain. id just be running around out there real fast with my mouth dangling open, waiting to catch enough water. i’d have a good crowd after a minute or two. they wouldn’t know how to handle it. they’d just watch me drown in that rain. so confused. hopefully a little frightened. then i’d be dead and they’d realize that they just watched me and probably laughed a little as i died. this really sounded better when i was peeing. i swear it did.
Yeah. You’re the love of my life.
December 17, 2009 at 3:27pm Comments
So my friend Carrie has Burberry perfume,
and whenever I stop in her dorm room, I always spray some on me, because I am in love with it. In love. I am an objectum-sexual.
So apparently last time I sprayed it, I sprayed some on my headphones, and I put my headphone cord in my mouth, (I am an objectum-sexual, after all,) and could taste it.
It’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened.
December 17, 2009 at 3:24pm Comments
mummyfeet!
December 17, 2009 at 3:21pm Comments
today, i walked outside and someone fucking threw a fridge at me. i hate that.
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